Rough Day

As I sit here, I am listening to There is a Reason (Caedmon's Call). After a long day with the kids and it seeming as if everyone and everything is going against me, this song is such a precious reminder of my call as a mom. No other job I have ever had before I was a mom did I not have the option of quiting. I have had times that I totally want to throw the towel in. Today being such. Although when my oldest tells me he really needs a hug from mom and my little ones tell me "I wuv you, mommy", I can't help but want to sign up for another day. How precious are these times. How one day I will look back and miss these days. Now, isn't that a funny thought! When you think of Mount St. Helens in your laundry room, all of the toys you step on in the middle of the night, the constant mess (even when you just cleaned up), the dishes, the cooking, the taxi service you run and the many other things we do...yes, I tell you I will miss it terribly one day! What an awesome job we have! Five very precious souls have been given to me to teach. Some days I am flying in the clouds. Some days I feel like only my nose is above water, struggling to find a little air (Spiritual nourishment) to make it through the day. But, I tell you what, I would do it over and over again. I pour my heart and soul into these kids. I have done things for them that I would never do for another soul! Listen to Sacred by Caedmon's Call. My favorite line is also one of my prayers "teach me to run to You, I can feel the banks harden, Lord, make me like a stream to feed the garden". When days are like today, it seems like I get in the moment and forget to run into my Daddy's arms. It always comes later, but why doesn't it come as my first reaction? I pray that God will show me how to be deeper in my relationship with Him so that running to Him is my first reaction. I want to show that to my kids. I want to feed my garden, so that they can grow in what is the most important facet of our life--our precious relationship with our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.
Lord, make me Yours. Allow me to pour forth to these kids Your love. Let the fruit of the Spirit come out of me quicker than the flesh. Help me not to react in anger, but to correct in love. Watch my tongue and allow the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart to be acceptable to You, my precious Lord. Help me to run to You in the heat of the moment. Allow me to see what it is that You would do. Let me leave a legacy of a Christ-like mom. Help my children to see Your love flowing through me correcting them so that they can follow You throughout their lives. Mold their hearts, Lord. Shape them into what would make them usable by You. Work through me throughout their lives. Thank you Lord, for trusting me with this job. I pray that I will do it and do it well. I want to have the integrity Daniel had even when faced with a seemingly impossible situation. I love You, Lord. Amen.