Stop and Focus

Do you ever have just extremely crazy days? Sometimes I lose track of my days because I am running so much. Yesterday, we had a playdate, an errand, lunchdate, rest and clean-up time, pick up kids at school, homework, rushed dinner, church, bath, and bed. When I finally got into bed, I sunk beneath the covers and sleep just overtook me. UNTIL. One of the twins woke up at 1 am and 2 am throwing up. At 4:50 am he was moaning and crying in his sleep. I thought it sounded like a great idea and I really wanted to join him! Anyway, I woke up again at 7:30 am only realize it was Thursday. If I could just put into words how much I look forward to this day of the week, you might understand just how sad this was that of all days of the week, the baby choose this one to get sick! This is the day I use to get some of the things done that never seem to get done around the house. For instance, the cobwebs that are now connecting light fixtures from room to room, the dust on the blinds that I could write my name on or if I really had some extra time I would try to figure out what is a weed and what is a plant in my flower beds! My mind tells me to send them to school. Then, my foggy head becomes a little clearer and I decide that wouldn't be the right thing to do! Well, we at least had a little quieter day today and my dust may be piling up by the second, but I did have some good quality time with the kiddos. While I was in car line at school this afternoon, I did my quiet time. Only then, did I stop to think about how crazy life has become and how it seems harder and harder to keep my focus on what is truely important. I have enjoyed this blog for that reason, it allows me time to reflect on my day and see God working in my life, my husbands, my kids and others. How often do I allow things to get in the way of my walk with God though. Have you ever read the verses in Hebrews 12
12:1
Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.
12:2
Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.
12:3
Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.
These are the verses I read in my quiet time yesterday, but they came to mind today. They are so perfect for us as moms too. For how often have we grown weary in our mothering. From the constant discouragement of leading a child in the way they should go only to see them choose the wrong path to the thousands of errands and activities we do for the sake of the family, we definately see weariness. I am hear to encourage you to set your mind on Jesus. Focus your day on Him and in your discouraging times look for His mighty hand on your life. It is so hard to discern His plan in our lives, but the more I seem to focus on what He is doing in my life as well as my family's, the easier it is in my heart to focus on Jesus. It also seems easier to find joy in the bad moments because your focus is not on yourself, but on the overall plan. I hope to encourage you to not lose heart in your high place of honor. God chose you and gave you those wonderful kiddos. Despite our crazy days of cleaning, laundry, chauffouring and the many other things that fill our day, focus on running this race set before us well. As my Bible study says, Run Well, Finish Strong!
Romans 15:13 May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.

Praise Jesus!

Today has been a great day! Isn't it awesome when you can walk away from a day feeling rejuvenated from seeing God's hand at work in your life as well as others! Today, a great friend of mine that has struggled with infertility called to tell me she is pregnant! They were not even trying. In fact, they gave up about 2 years ago, I believe (maybe longer) and have been pursueing a Chinese adoption! How great is God! It is so funny to think of the prayers we all have and we pray them so earnestly, yet sometimes we don't get the answer when we want it. But, I tell you what, isn't it grand when God does choose to answer that prayer. It makes me just want to praise Jesus for all He has done for me and now for my precious friend! Please pray for her as she goes through this pregnancy. Her ultrasound is tomorrow at 9:30! The other great part of my day was just a special moment my husband and I had with our oldest. He came up to me tonight as I was grilling some chicken and out of nowhere told me he thought Satan was trying to convince him he wasn't truely a Christian. Can I tell you how sweet the moments are when your children let you see a glimpse of what is in their hearts. We had a wonderful, in-depth conversation with him and were even able to share from our own lives on how both my hubby and I had accepted Christ as young people, but were unsure at that time that it wasn't the real thing. It wasn't until I have gotten quite older and have taken the time to really think about it that I have realized I just didn't understand how to step from the infant stage of accepting Christ to growing in Him. When we finished talking, it just felt so good to know that he really felt confortable coming to us to ask his questions at his big age of 10! I hate there is not more quality time with each of the kiddos, but that makes me relish in those little moments when I feel their soul being poured out! I have a song in my head from all this good stuff going on. I am sure that you have heard it...Praise God from whom all blessings flow...Praise Him all creatures here below...Praise Him above ye heavenly hosts...Praise Father, Son and Holy Ghost...amen. Take the time to worship God and give Him thanks for those little things in life that make us see glimpses of Him and His majestic glory!

Run to the Cross or to a Pity Party???

From the time I found out I was having twins, my life went into a whirlwind. My plans were suddenly not the same plans that God had chosen and to be quite honest, it just didn't sit well with me. When my hubby and I had talked about having one more child, I had visions of this child being treasured, cherishing and relishing in every moment that I was given to be with him/her. Well, then came the news that my husband felt led to not even try for another. God has blessed us with three healthy children and as he said, why test the odds with a forth. Approximately two weeks later, guess what I found out. We are pregnant. So, okay I am pregnant and trying to drum up a little excitment in between feeling sick and exhausted while keeping up with the other three children. Then at 9 1/2 weeks pregnant, crying frantically in the ultrasound room to the poor technician that had the awesome responsibility to tell me and my husband that we are having twins, I officially loose it. I was in shock for the rest of my pregnancy and then I cried every day for the first 10 months of their lives. After that, I just couldn't find joy in any of my children. All of a sudden, God was my enemy. Didn't He hear me when I told Him in countless prayers that I wanted A child? Did He have some twisted sense of humor trying to see if I could handle five children with two that looked completely alike? I tell you what sister, I can't even write a portion of the thoughts that went through my head. I was leading a life of self-inflicted torture. Everyday I found it difficult to step out of bed. My family was becoming a piece of baggage. Have I begun to put into words just how self-absorbed and tragic my life had become? All because I failed to accept God's plan. When this happened, I began to have so many other things fall apart. Basically, my head was not screwed on straight! Okay, I know this is a depressing post, but it is the truth. Christians go through struggles too and I hope that this is a lesson for anyone that has a trial in their life that really doesn't know how to deal with it or like me, instead of running to the Cross, ran to their pity party! I have often wondered if God chose to write a book in the Bible about me, what would He say? It would probably be a book on what not to do! But, I am pretty sure this would be in there. Because it is such a lesson on how not to handle things in your life when they do not go your way. Now, I can't imagine my life without any of my kids and especially my twins. I see God's mighty hand in my life and He has used two little boys to allow me to see the errors of my thinking. I failed to see the "big picture". God has plans for all of us and what we fail to see is the great illustration of how God is using all of us to accomplish His awesome and mighty plan. If the goal was just to become a Christian, we would die in our flesh immediately upon salvation. No, girl, God has wonderful plans for you.
Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. "
Don't allow Satan to take from you what is rightfully yours. Keep your mind set on the things above, then you will find joy in times like these because you will have confidence that they are producing a more spirtually mature person in you.
Ro 12:2 "Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is--his good, pleasing and perfect will." Hebrews 12:7 "Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as sons. For what son is not disciplined by his father?"
One of my sons is named Will. Now, what a perfect reminder that it was not only God's will that I have these two boys, but also that He got to use them to allow me to see how important my job as a mother is as well as how to better react when I encounter trials!
James 1:2 "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds."
Psalm 127:3 "Behold, children are a gift of the LORD, The fruit of the womb is a reward."

Standing firm or shaking in my boots...

This past week, my husband had to go out of town for a few days. No big deal. In fact, the first few days were nice. I got a few extra things done that I would normally not have time to do. Also, I slept really good, which is a complete abnormality! But come the third night, I was completely overcome with anxiety. I couldn't go to sleep and I even woke up all in the night thinking someone is going to break in. What amazes me is that I never have this issue when my hubby is in town. I am not sure what I think he would do if we were all of a sudden overcome with a swarm of burgerlers, a wild pack of dogs or maybe even a helicopter crashed into my roof, but I have no doubt in my mind that he could handle it! That is alot of faith in one person isn't it! Anyway, he was gone and what did I do but sit there and wonder what in the world was that noise I just heard? What about the shadow that I don't remember seeing a few minutes ago? After what seemed like an obnoxious amount of time worrying, I finally remembered to pray. I prayed that God would put an army of angels watching over my house and keep us safe all night. Well, I said AMEN and fell fast asleep only to keep on waking up all night! The funniest part about this whole ordeal is what happened once I woke up. Do you ever think deep, mind engaging thoughts upon waking up? Neither do I. I am usually thinking, "I must wake up, I must wake up, I need to potty, must wake up..." Anyway, immediately upon waking up I thought of Peter in Matthew 14:22-33. How he saw Jesus walking on water, had the faith to step out and join Him, knowing He was his Savior, yet still he doubted. ( 27 But Jesus immediately said to them: "Take courage! It is I. Don't be afraid." 28 "Lord, if it's you," Peter replied, "tell me to come to you on the water." 29 "Come," he said. Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. 30 But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, "Lord, save me!" 31 Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. "You of little faith," he said, "why did you doubt?" 32 And when they climbed into the boat, the wind died down. 33 Then those who were in the boat worshiped him, saying, "Truly you are the Son of God." ) Why I thought this was so funny is because I know God gave me that thought. I knew to go to Him. I trusted Him by peacefully going to sleep, yet I doubted Him because I kept waking up (ie shaking in my boots). Yet, I have no problem thinking my hubby will conquer giants on my behalf. Isn't that amazing that my faith in my husband outweighs the faith I have in my Savior (at least in this instance). God has taught me a valuable lesson in where my faith should lie as well as how much faith I should have. "...I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you." Matthew 17:20b Stand firm in your faith for Christ. He will strengthen you, "For the eyes of the Lord range throughout the earth to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to him." 2 Chronicles 16:9

Horns and Crowns...

I didn't mention that I am a Christian in my last post. Being a Christian and a mother has been some what of a challenge though. There are so many times in my experience as a mother that you probably couldn't tell I have any sort of religion. One of which was this morning. We were having a really good morning getting everyone ready for school (ie older three dressed, me dressed, lunches made, teeth brushed, etc.) when the twins decided to run like little cavemen screaming around the house. My house has what we refer to a "racetrack" between the kitchen, living room, dining room and hallway. It makes a perfect circle and the boys find it quite amusing to run in circles while laughing like little hyenas. It was almost funny until I realized we were running late for car line. I chased my little hyenas and caught one in the midst of a cackle! I ran him upstairs and went for round two. Ding!Ding!Ding! I ran and ran until I finally caught him all the while giving my two year old mommy's rendition of getting chewed out. Okay. They are finally dressed. So, we race to the car. Everyone is strapped in. But what is it about being late that gets me so worked up. All the kids are perfectly happy in the car, but mommy is fuming. That doesn't seem quite fair does it. The kids, who did the wrong thing in the first place, are just as happy and content. And here I am, brewing like a kettle about to blow. Well, I did a nice job of holding it in. UNTIL...my daughter decided to leave the door open to the car. Isn't it funny how such little things get you going. Have you ever seen the picture of a bomb exploding? I screamed, "EMILY, GET BACK HERE AND CLOSE THE DOOR?" (It wasn't pretty between the voice I chose and the look I was giving.) Then, the little lady who does car line comes from right behind my vehicle, saw the horns growing from my head and said, "honey, it is okay. I will get it for you." I was so embarrassed. Anyway, my point is that you should know that we are all human. Made in the image of God, but so totally in the flesh. I find it so easy to worship and pray when things are going good. But, it is scary when my horns sprout. Thank goodness God doesn't set a limit on how many times He forgives me. He chisils down those horns daily, yet they still find a way to sprout back up. Just telling you this makes me think of two stories in the Bible. Job for one. How he kept his horns from growing and spouting off at God when things were totally going wrong in his life. Instead, he told his wife how can we accept the good and not accept the bad. That hits me like a ton of bricks. Why do my horns sprout when I should be looking to Jesus? Secondly, I think of Paul. He was in prison awaiting his execution and he continued to pray and worship. Seeing the whole plan as God's perfect will for his life. Here come the bricks again. Anyway, I hope to encourage you to realize we are all human and we all have our moments. I will pray for strength for you and I hope you will do likewise for me!

Mothering...someone forgot to tell me something...

Can I tell you that in all my youthful years, I had absolutely no idea what it meant to be a mother. Don't you wish you could bat your eyes and truthfully say that you have the most precious, obedient children on earth. Well let me tell you, my kiddos are precious, but I am pretty sure they are only to me! First, let me tell you I have 5 children. My son is 10 going on 22! He is very intelligent and loves to joke around. Then there is my dreamer who is in 2nd grade. She is such a pleaser and gets so disheartened when things don't go her way. Fifteen months after her, we had our "passionate" child. She has more energy and zeal for life...which means she is in trouble most of the time! Then came the identical twins. I never knew the meaning of a busy life until they came along. In fact, I am sure that God has a sense of humor. I had maybe one brain cell left before the twins were born with which I already struggled to call the children I already had by their correct names. Then came two that looked completely and totally alike. Do you think I mix them up? YES! I have run across so many moms that sell me how easy it is for them to tell their twins apart. At this point, I just point at who is in trouble, explain that they know who they are and they'd better straighten up. Then, I hope that I caught the right one when they were running away from me! I am sure one day I will see past the craziness of these days. But it seems so far away!