Hindsight...

My babies turned three today! I suppose that they are not officially babies anymore and I am sure that I won't have anymore myself--that is unless God intervenes! (I had my tubes tied.) I have been thinking of all these sweet thoughts of those precious babies all week. Thinking of how my days feel so long yet the years are flying by. As I looked through pictures of all the kids and thought all these sweet thoughts, I couldn't help but look forward to today. Even though it was a little emotional! I thought I would get up early and do my quiet time. When the boys got up, I envisioned singing them Happy Birthday and getting a big boy hug! My day dream had little birds singing around me like Snow White as I treasured the kids this morning. I bet you can tell that there is a but to this story. I got up with a terrible headache as well as just being extremely sleepy. That was ok. I can deal with that. So, I got to work on my quiet time. Things are going well, but the boys got up early. No big deal. I thought I would just turn on Disney channel while I finished up my quiet time. As they came down the stairs, I said HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BOYS! My third clue to this morning now came..."No my birthday!" Ben said. I tried in the mommie fashion to tell him, Ya hoo. Today is your birthday and you are three!!! Well, at least this time there was no fussing! Will then asked me to get him some milk. I told him that mommy needed to finish her study and then I would get it. But I first must sing to my darling 3 year olds! As I started my own American Idol version of Happy Birthday, Will yelled at me in the meanest little three year old voice..."You no sing me!!!!!!!! AGGGHGH!" This morning was not quite what I had envisioned! In fact, to drive his point home, Will decided to throw his prized Geotrax engines towards me. By this time, I had totally lost my focus. On God, that is. In fact, the headache and sleepiness were egging on my flesh. But, you will be proud. I held it together. No screaming. No fussing. I calmly handled this situation. Took the older kiddos to school. Then off to the grocery. Then to Bible study. Dropped the boys off with their teacher. Then, wrote a quick pick-me-up card to a friend who has been sick. Ah. To hear Jean Stockdale speak. It was like the Holy Spirit was whispering in my ear. I am refreshed! Can I just tell you all it took was getting in the car and heading to the older kids school to get me all caught up in my flesh again! Will and Ben had speech evaluations today. To accomplish this though, we had to split them up. No big deal. I wore my big girl panties today and I can handle this. While Will was in the room, I took Ben around the school. Do you know how hard it is to keep a three year old quiet in a school. I forgot to mention that his volume level is close to those monkeys in the zoo that scream so loud you hear them no matter where you are in the zoo! Then, we switched off. As sweet as the teacher said he was for her, Will sprouted horns for me. He threw a tantrum, screamed and flailed his body in such a manner that I was having trouble holding the little 35 pound angel that I was being so sentimental about just hours before! Isn't it funny when you feel like you are in His Word and you are living His Word, then a moment (or should I say your day) goes haywire! Isn't it so hard to keep your focus on God. I have to admit I fell so short today. All I could think about was me and what I had to deal with. How selfish is that. I am pretty sure that I was fitting in to the "forgetful hearer" type that James talked about. Knowing how I should act, as Christ does, as a servant. And also to love. Not just fleshly love, but unconditional love(I Cor 13). Had I even gotten a small hint of this today, I am sure that I would have acted differently! Sometimes I amaze myself. I feel like I am doing pretty good, and then, BAM, I goof up. Thank goodness God is there to forgive me each and every time. Now I just have to go call my parents. They just so happened to pop in to tell the boys Happy Birthday this afternoon. Lets just say that I wasn't my most pleasant. I hope their forgiveness resembles Christ! Off for now.
Titus 2:11 For the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men. 12 It teaches us to say "No" to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age, 13 while we wait for the blessed hope--the glorious appearing of our great God and Savior, Jesus Christ,