Godly friendships...

Have I told you about my good friend Ashley? She and I have become very close over the years. We preface a many of a conversation with..."You know I tell you everything..." We have the normal girl talk and then we have the talk that you only share with a really good friend. For instance, when I had the stomach virus the other day, I told her how it was a really violent tummy virus. She proceded to say "Violent, huh." For some reason, I felt that was my cue to share in more detail. I am sure she appreciated it. I told her how I blew my nose after I threw up and broccoli and rice came out! Okay. I know that that particular comment can not be shared with just anyone not to mention it is just gross. Besides my husband, she was the only one to know until I have shared with you. Don't you feel special right now! The point is Ashley is one of my very good friends and I feel quite comfortable telling her about anything and she feels the same about me. I feel very blessed to have a friend like her. She listens when I am happy, grumpy, sad or anything inbetween. God has truely given me a gem to have her as a friend. I bring up Ashley because in reading about Job, I have learned about his friends. Job had just gone through losing his family (besides his wife), all of his possessions and finally, his health. Three of his friends came to him to sympathize and comfort him at his time of need. They sat with him while he grieved for seven days and nights without saying a word. Can you imagine? I can't imagine going over to Ashley's and just sitting with her and not saying a word FOR SEVEN DAYS! We see what good friends they are though, because they dropped everything to go to their friend and be there for him in his greatest time of need. Not only that, they were weeping for him and grieving with him. Read these verses in Job 2:
12 When they saw him from a distance, they could hardly recognize him; they began to weep aloud, and they tore their robes and sprinkled dust on their heads. 13 Then they sat on the ground with him for seven days and seven nights. No one said a word to him, because they saw how great his suffering was.
These friends sound like my good friend. The next chapter is where Job speaks after these seven days. I talked about this chapter in a previous post. Let's just say he was not having a happy day. He was cursing the day of his birth. He wanted to die rather than to deal with the pain, although he did not blame God. The next chapter is the meat of what I have been thinking about this week. One of his good friends responds to him in this chapter. He, as I am sure I have done, was really speaking (in my interpretation) from his heart although his wisdom on Job's situation was only what he thought brought on Job's troubles. He continued to tell Job that he must have done something against God, a sin, so that God had chosen to punish him in order to correct him (chapter 5:17). I don't want to write a book tonight, so I am going to try to get to my point. Job had been through so much. He lost his children, all of his possessions, his health. Then, his wife tells him to curse God and die. His friends try to comfort him, but then decide to take the situation in to their own hands and provide completely inaccurate wisdom on the situation at hand. Telling Job that he must have done a grievous sin. I don't know about you, but it looks to me that the situation just keeps taking turns for the worse.
Eliphaz says in Chapter 4:7 "Consider now: Who, being innocent, has ever perished? Where were the upright ever destroyed? 8 As I have observed, those who plow evil and those who sow trouble reap it. 9 At the breath of God they are destroyed; at the blast of his anger they perish."
Can you see how we, as friends, can sometimes speak from our heart but yet, not see the whole picture. Thus, our advice is not only inaccurate, but unneeded. I never once saw where Eliphaz prayed to God before he spoke to Job. Eliphaz does tell us that he saw a vision and that was where his great insight came from. Satan had used Job's wife in her flesh before. Who's to say the vision wasn't from Satan as well. I can't help but wonder how many times I have given advice without praying about it. Can I tell you just how eye opening this is to me? Be careful what you say. Not only with our friends, but also with our children. For we know,
James 3:10a "Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing."
Guard your tongue. Memorize a verse that will help you to guard it.
Psalm 34:12 "Whoever of you loves life and desires to see many good days, 13 keep your tongue from evil and your lips from speaking lies."
There are so many great verses for this. What I have taken from Job's friends is to number one, be a great friend. Be there for them. And secondly, keep God as your focus. I feel like I am still learning how to be a Christian. I believe wholeheartedly in Christ, yet that is not even a portion of faith. Letting Christ infiltrate your marraige, your parenting, your friends, aquaintances, and your life is easier said than done.
I pray that God will continue to open my heart to these instances in my own life where I fail to see the depth of faith I need to pursue a life of being devoted wholly to Christ. I will pray that for you too!